December 2011
New Years Resolution: Less drunken crying.
Jim Crow's guide to doing laundry: "Separate, but...
Jim Crow was obviously the first to separate his lights from his darks.
Anonymous asked: can you post a picture of your bottom please :)
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Merry Crystalmethmas!
My Grandma thinks I'm anorexic.... I don't have a...
Chaka Khanukuh
You can work hard your whole life and still never...
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Gifting for the "significant other" in your life:
Step 1. Wrap your “naughty bits” in a bow.
Step 2. Present said “naughty bits” where the rest of the family can’t see—unless you’re into that.
Step 3 (optional for couples, suggested for singles). Step away from the mirror, go to your bedroom, cry, and masturbate with your tears.
Step 4. Clean up!
Whomever coined the phrase "choking the chicken"...
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Spiraling...
When I’m upset, or down, or depressed, sometimes I can’t help but feel ashamed of myself. Tonight is no different. I think, and I think, and I end up putting myself in these awful moods that never get me anywhere. That’s only the beginning. When I hit a low, I fall even lower because I hate myself for feeling that way. What’s wrong with you? Do you know how bad other people...
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“I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here at the bottom we,...”
– Dr. Seuss’s Yertle the Turtle and Gertrude McFuzz
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Anonymous asked: You're gayer than Richard Simmons in a leotard. And you're not attractive.
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Breastfeeding helps you lose weight. Just throwing...
